CHAPTER 1 

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Denver

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The clear pitcher of kool aid smelled sweeter than  candy as I added more sugar and sliced lemons to the blue mixture. I gripped the huge wooden spoon in my hand and turned it, stirring up the concoction until it resulted my famous kool aid that all the kids loved so much. I smiled as I made it. I even cut up a few strawberries and threw them in just as my big sister Cheyenne came back into the kitchen. She had a pan full of meat as her two young sons trailed behind. 

“Mommy, is the food ready?” Her son Santana pouted sweetly. He was slurping down an orange popsicle as it dripped down onto his shirt. Cheyenne turned to him with an attitude.

“Boy, you are making a damn mess. Go change your shirt!” She hissed. 

He frowned and exited stage left as his brother ran in the opposite direction screaming at the top of his lungs. 

I shook my head and grinned, remembering when my two kids were that young. I basically had  preteens now. My son Zayd jr was eleven while my baby girl Zayanna was ten years old going on twenty. Instead of being up my ass like they use too, the both of them were outside with their cousins riding bikes up and down the streets. 

I looked out the kitchen window as more people stepped into the backyard to party. I placed the lid on the pitcher, preparing to go entertain my beautiful family. It was the Fourth of July holiday and once again Cheyenne had organized a wonderful get together with food, drinks and games. Something she did almost every holiday since buying her first home seven years ago. When our parents got tired of having all the festivities at their place, they let it be known it was the next generation's turn so she took over. Out of respect, I would come over to help her cook and even clean up after things ended. We were like the ultimate team in sisterhood and in business. We actually owned a soul food restaurant called Chilli Mac that the city of Detroit raved about. We’ve only been in business for four years and already won many awards for our excellent customer service and phenomenal meals. We had plans of extending the restaurant eventually but until then our one location was off the hook.

 

That day we had my sister’s kitchen on fiyah. Creating some of our best versions of baked beans, Mac & cheese, candied yams, fried green tomatoes along with grilled salmon, pork ribs, lamb chops and we couldn’t forget about the barbecue chicken wings. I even put together a quick salad since our big brother Rich preferred a salad with all of his meals. Let’s just say, our parents spoiled the fuck out of him when the three of us were growing up. 

“Finally we’re done.” I exhaled as I admired all of our hard work. 

Cheyenne walked over and glanced at the kitchen table with all the food on it  then rolled her eyes. 

“Nah, we ain’t done. Your home girl Bridget still hasn’t brought the potato salad.” She shot.

“Oh yeah. Let me call her to see where she is.” I replied as I headed outside to the front porch.  

The heat was almost unbearable as the sun beamed down onto the block. More of my relatives walked up including my daddy and Rich. I jumped off the porch and ran up to my father, squeezing him into a bear hug. 

“Daddy!” I cheered.

As you can tell I was a daddy’s girl for sure. I was close to my mama but my father was my everything. Growing up I did everything with that man. I’m talking about fishing, basketball games, and motorcycle rides. He was even the reason I knew how to barbecue so well; which got me into the food industry. 

“Baby girl.” He smiled.

“Daddy, I grilled you some ribs and used my special sauce just for you!” 

Rich chimed in, “Y’all better have my side salad in there too.” He said playfully.

“Yeah your romaine in there, but instead of making your sisters cook for you, you need to get you a damn wife.” I replied. 

“Hell no! A wife ain’t nothing but a headache. My three side bitches and I are doing just fine.”

My daddy chuckled and nodded his head at Rich’s immaturity. My brother was going on forty and still ran the streets like a dog. 

“Speaking of wives. Denver, what’s this bullshit I’m hearing about you not being one.” My father added. 

My facial expression dropped, knowing where he was heading with his statement. I looked down at my Balenciaga sandals , unsure of where to start. 

“He called you, huh?” 

“Yup, he sure did. He told me you haven’t been home in almost a week.”

“Well did he tell you what he did?!” 

“I don’t care what he did because it’s none of my business. As long as he’s not putting hands on you, whatever happened can be figured out by talking.”

“Daddy it’s not that simple.” I pouted.

“Like I told you before you married the muthafucka, ain’t nothing gonna be simple. It’s marriage and it’s hard work.” He preached. 

I huffed, wishing that my husband and daddy didn’t have such a tight bond. Whenever my marriage spiraled out of control, Zayd had no problem calling up my father. 

“You need to go back home to your husband.” 

“Yeah, D, don’t do my nigga Zay like that. Everybody know that nigga love you.” Rich stated. 

“Are you serious?! How come you have more sympathy for him than me when you know the things he’s put me through?!” 

“Shit, it can’t be that bad you married him.” 

“You know what? Both of y’all can make ya own damn plates today!” 

I stormed off down the driveway when I spotted my mother and grandma pulling up. I was happy to see them because hopefully they could talk some sense into my brother and father. 

For the past week, I’ve been staying at a hotel with the kids because my husband  Zayd couldn’t get his act right. Once again he stomped the shit out of my heart, leaving me in tears so I left his ass. Word on the street was he’s been out searching for me since, pulling up to all my family members' cribs to bring me back home. I needed time and space to think  so I wasn’t coming back until I was ready. 

“ZJ, come help grandma get these cakes out the car!” I yelled out to my son. 

He was a few houses down, shooting water guns with all the other kids when he heard my voice. He instantly stopped and shot over, giving my mother and grandma hugs before opening the back door to grab more food. 

“I’m glad y’all here. Grandma, my daddy needs an ass whooping.” I joked. 

“Don’t tell me he's over here telling all your business?” My mother questioned.

“Yes, telling me what I need to be doing as a wife.”

“Well it has been a week. You and Zayd need to figure out what y’all gone do. You can’t run from him forever.” 

I rolled my eyes as I helped my grandmother out of the car. Seemed like nobody understood the pain I was going through. I let the hurt I felt roll off my back and focused on how fun the cookout was about to be. My girl Bridget of four years had finally arrived seconds later, rushing out of her car with the pan of potato salad she promised hours ago. After making sure my grandma made it into the backyard, I met up with her on the sidewalk. 

“Please don’t be mad at me. I had a lot going on.” She spoke.

“Girl, I am not mad, Cheyenne is though. You know how she is about things being on time.” 

Bridget and I both hugged until she smirked at my appearance. 

“Friend, you look fire! You gone have me turn into a little lesbian looking at you!” 

I did a quick spin because I did look good in my short shorts and crop top. My jet black pixie haircut had me looking like the hood Halle Berry as several gorgeous tattoos covered  my honeycomb skin. I was so fine that I could be an expensive statue at a historic museum. 

I was a shorty though; five foot and three inches tall with a solid weight of one hundred and eighty pounds. I was thick in all the right places, especially my ass due to the fact that all the women in my family possessed a wagon. My grandma was in her eighties and still had an ass that sat higher than the clouds in the sky. I was thirty two but I had all the twenty year olds playing catch up. 

“Thanks babe.” 

“Besides you looking good, how do you feel?” She whispered, referring to my toxic relationship.

“I’m better. Now come on so we can take my sister this potato salad.”

The two of us went inside the house just as all my cousins, aunts and uncles invaded the kitchen to get a plate of food. Niggas was running around with a mouth full of Hawaiian rolls and red cups of my kool aid. 

“Another game of spades going down in five minutes!” My cousin Eddie hollered out.

“Be prepared to go broke muthafucka!” Rich told him once he had his salad in hand. 

Cheyenne was busy piling food on everyone’s plate when I passed through with Bridget’s meal. My sister and friend cut their eyes at each other along with a mug of animosity. It had been a long time since I could have the two in the same room. Let’s just say some madness went down a few years ago where my sister's ex husband slept with Bridget not knowing she was my newfound friend. 

Bridget popped over to my house one day bragging about a dude she was falling in love with. She invited Zayd and I on a double date at Top Golf with them and all hell broke loose. 

“Bitch ass nigga!” Were the words that left my mouth as soon as I set eyes on him that night. It took everything in me not to pick up a golf club and beat him with it. Zayd went off as well, threatening to kill him. The whole thing was a complete mess. Bridget tried for years to get on my sister’s good side but that was a wound that never truly healed. Anyways Cheyenne got a divorce of course while Bridget found herself a new man. 

“Hey Chy!” Bridget smiled, “I made a crunch cake just for you and the boys.”

My sister curled her top lip, “Cool…you can put it in the kitchen.” 

I was glad the two of them could be cordial since they were my only friends. I needed them to get along especially at times when I was at my lowest. After my huge family got their food and exited back outside, I made plates for myself and the kids. My son walked into the house but Zayanna wasn’t with him. 

“Where’s your sister?” I questioned. 

He shrugged, “Outside being fast.” 

I quickly placed down the spoon I had in my hand and went back out the door to find my child. When I stepped onto the porch, I found her almost a block away talking with a group of young boys. 

“What the…” 

I rushed away from Cheyenne’s house and headed down the street to put a stop to whatever was going on. Zayanna was only ten but she was already growing breasts. To be so young she had a frame that had me predicting she was gonna be shaped like the rest of us. I worried about her on numerous occasions, knowing she was gonna be a sight for sore eyes in a few years. 

“Zayanna, what are you doing down here with them?!” I snapped at her. 

The boys she was conversing with had to be thirteen or fourteen. One of them even had a small tattoo.

“Damn, this your mama?” One of them grinned.

“Yes, I’m her mother and I don’t appreciate y’all talking to her. She’s only ten!”

“Ten?!” 

The group of young males fled the scene with their bikes before I could utter anything else. I looked over at my daughter since she and I stood almost the same height. 

“Mama, I wasn’t tryna talk to them, I swear.” She explained, “They rolled up on me.”

“Didn’t look that way to me. I have told you time and time again, that you look older so you need to watch yourself. These boys are no good and will take advantage of someone like you. They didn’t even know you were ten years old!”

“I know mommy, I’m sorry. I was only riding my bike.”

I rubbed her back as we both walked back to the house. I was mad but I was more pissed off at my son. I raised him to come to his sister’s rescue whenever she was in need and that was a moment for him to have her back. I was gonna bust his ass out until I noticed my husband’s car pull up to the curb.

“Look, ma, it’s daddy.” Zayanna said. 

She left my side to go greet Zayd as he emerged from his Challenger. Meanwhile I ignored him and went straight to the backyard. I wasn’t happy to see him so there was no point of being fake. I took a seat next to my sister as she played spades with Rich, Eddie and a few others. She could sense the tension radiating off of me. 

“Zayd, just pulled up.” I snarled. 

“You shouldn’t be surprised since Rich invited him over.” She announced. 

I looked at my brother, wanting to throw Eddie’s cup of kool aid in his face. 

“Really, Rich?!”

“Y’all need to chill out. Your husband has been a part of this family for fifteen years. Just cuz you mad at the nigga don’t mean I gotta be mad at him too!” 

“If you knew the backstory you would’ve kept your big mouth shut!” Cheyenne replied, coming to my defense.

“What he do, fuck another bitch?” Rich laughed, “if that’s the case we've been down this road before! You gone forgive him sooner or later.” 

Eddie chuckled, “Damn, Rich you cold.” 

My mouth sat wide at my sibling’s harsh words. His Narcissistic butt was a Gemini so he never cared rather he hurt feelings or not. Yes, the whole family knew of Zayd's Infidelity but he didn’t have to cut me like that. 

“Fuck you. Next time you need money for your rent, ask somebody else.” I spat before leaving the table.

Zayd had just entered the backyard, showing love to my parents and others as ZJ tackled him with hugs. I walked right past him like he was a ghost and went inside the house. Anger covered my entire body as tears fell down my cheeks. I was so upset at Him for pulling up on me, knowing I couldn’t stand to see his face at the moment. 

The reason I left him in the first place was because I found him talking to some girl named Babyface. The two had messages going back and forth about their numerous dates and fuck sessions. The nigga even had the nerves to invest in her beauty shop. He was in a deep slumber as I went through the proof of their affair. I’m talking pictures of her fat ass in boyshorts saved in his files, cash app receipts of him sending her money every now and then, doordashing the bitch lunch. I was so broken-hearted that I threw his cell phone into the wall, packed my shit and left with the kids. I couldn’t handle it. He cheated in the past but never anything that extreme. It was as if he had feelings for the bitch. 

I ended up in Cheyenne’s bathroom, crying. I looked down at the ten carat Diamond ring that sat on my finger, wondering if a divorce was necessary. I didn’t believe in splitting up my family, but my husband having a full blown mistress was a bullet to our relationship. I refused to look dumb or stupid. I was worth more than that. 

I reached for the box of Kleenex that sat on the bathroom sink and wiped my watery eyes. I splashed cold water on my neck to calm down before opening the bathroom door. When I did, Zayd’s massive body pushed it further open as he stepped inside. I moved back to put a few inches between us since I wanted no parts of him. He locked the door then reached out for me. I looked into his sleepy eyes, seeing regret and aggression within them. 

“What, Zayd? I don’t want to be around you right now.” I said, looking away. 

“How long you gone keep running from me?”

“However long it takes for you to understand that I’m done with you.”

“You ain’t done with shit! It’s  till death do us part and until then you ain’t going nowhere. Where the fuck you been at all this time with my kids?!”

“Don’t worry about it!” I hissed, pushing him off of me. 

He regained control of me by gently turning my chin to look at him. He kissed my lips then placed a tight grasp onto my backside. 

“I want you and my kids at home, Denver. I’m lost without y’all foreal.” 

“Oh so you’re lost now? You weren’t thinking about that when you were sending smiling emojis to that bitch!” 

“Lower your muthafuckin’ tone.”

“Nigga this my sister’s house I can do what I want and get your hands off of me!” 

I slapped his hands away as my resentment for him crept in. Just looking at him had me thinking of him fucking another woman. Her giving him head or him enjoying the pleasures of another pussy enraged me. His tall almond butter ass was supposed to mine and mine only. My heart ached tremendously to the point I started crying again. 

“Baby, stop crying.” He told me.

I didn’t speak, I just kept weeping. My body even shook. 

“Baby…stop crying.” He repeated, bringing me into his arms. 

“I can’t keep doing this with you!”

“Denver, I'm sorry. Just come home so I can make shit right.”

“You can’t make this right! You fucked up and I don’t want nothing to do with you.” 

“Mannnn, let that shit go! You're standing here stressing yo’ self out over lame ass hoes knowing that it’s only me and you!”

“Because I’m tired of the…”

Zayd put his lips over mine, giving me a mouth full of his tongue. Just like every other incident, he thought seducing me would put my mind at ease. When I tried coming up for air he pulled me back in, holding me against his body as if the world was ending. I moaned. He smelled so good while his strong arms made me feel protected. His deep voice penetrated my ears causing my pussy to become moist. 

“You act like you got a choice in this shit and you don’t; It’s either me or nobody.” He said in between kisses.

“I’m done.” I swore as I kissed him back. 

“Say that shit again if you’re serious.” He challenged. 

“I swear I’m done.” 

He sucked his teeth like he didn’t believe me. I moved away from him out of annoyance only for him to come back full force. He sucked on my neck and put his hand inside my shorts. 

“Stop.” I begged him softly.  

“You lucky we ain’t at the crib or else I’ll have yo’ thick ass thighs pushed all the way back. Now let my hand go.” 

“No!” 

I could feel his fingers enter me, in search of my g spot. My body melted like ice cream into his hand as he stroked me into submission. I didn’t wanna go back home, I wanted to stay mad but the way he finger fucked me had me thinking about Boss Mayne; which was the nickname I secretly gave his dick. That big ole thang knew how to get what it wanted anytime, anywhere. Exactly why I could never stay gone for too long. 

“I want you to go back to that hotel, get yo’ stuff and come back home.” He instructed as his fingers danced within my walls. 

I licked my lips and squeezed his forearm as I fought my orgasm from coming so fast. I was on such a wave that I couldn’t speak a word. Right before I came Zayd removed his fingers and put them inside my mouth to suck on. I slurped my juices like it was a glass of Minute Maid fruit punch. 

“Promise me you always gone come back.” He ordered.

I nodded. 

“I need to hear it.”

“Dammit it, Zayd, I promise.” 

“Good and let this be your last time leaving my muthafucking house. Next time imma have to bury yo’ ass in the backyard.” He smiled playfully, “I love you, Denver.” 

He sucked my bottom lip then dropped down to eat my pussy like it was the last meal on the planet. I held onto his head and opened my legs wide so I could feel every thrust of his tongue. I sat there with my head leaned back, begging myself not to scream.

“Shit.” I moaned. 

Zayd did all the little tricks I liked, not missing a beat. I grinded my hips and pushed my pussy into his face with no remorse. I was still upset with him so I took full advantage of the bomb head he was blessing me with. He had my clit on ten, swollen and extra sensitive. 

“Oh my god, Zayd!” I cried. 

He gripped both of my ass cheeks, letting me know he was in charge of my body. Meanwhile I could hear our son on the other side of the door yelling how he had to use the bathroom. His begging and pleading, almost interrupted my sexual high but My husband wasn’t having that.

“Go use the bathroom in the basement, ZJ!” He hollered, coming up for air. 

Our son could be heard smacking his lips followed by his footsteps walking in the opposite direction. I relaxed and got back in the mood just as my man resumed pleasing me. He looked up at me with those brown sleepy eyes that I was so addicted to. It took me back fifteen years when I was just a little girl trying to be grown. The year his presence captured me and had me searching the city for him with a flashlight. I was stuck on him from the very first day we met. I could remember it as if it was yesterday.