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Who said whores can’t have morals and want to be loved and respected?

Tonya turned her life over to Holy Falls Church only to be run away because of lies and secrets.  She vows to never to return.  As she takes her kids and flees to Detroit to live a “normal” life two hours away in Grand Rapids the raw feelings of what went on behind closed doors of the sanctuary never sat well with her.  

As she struggles to raise her three girls, Apple, Clementine and Cherry, she sees that more damage was done than she wants to admit.  

Years pass and instead of raising her girls, she looks for love and acceptance that she once felt she had at Holy Falls in any man that will pay her any attention.  One thing that never crossed Tonya’s mind is when you have kids, they do what they see.  All three girls take some of Tonya’s ways and their lives spiral out of control.

Clementine is dealing with a mental illness that hinders her from having a successful relationship with her sisters and most people in general.  When she meets Ky, she falls head over heels because he knows nothing about her mental illness so this is an opportunity for her to be “normal” but lies and deceit will push her to the brink of what’s realistic and what’s not but her mind won’t allow her to see the writing on the wall.  When she decides that she can live without taking her medication, her mind runs wild and Clementine spirals out of control.

Apple is the quiet strong one of the sisters but she too has adopted some of her mothers poor choices and when she runs into the wrong man, her life will never be the same and she’ll learn sleeping men as a sport will definitely put you on the bench.

Lastly, Cherry lacks self-esteem and has made a life for herself on social media.  She doesn’t realize that everyone you deal with through a keyboard is who they claim to be.  When Cherry comes face to face with a social media “friend” she’ll learn what her family has been saying when they warn her about putting so much information on the web…but will it be too late.

See what happens when Tonya succumbs to Cancer and the girls have to grant her last wish…returning to Holy Falls for her funeral.  These girls will have to return to the very church that ran their mom off but they each have the same question…why would she send them back to that dark place?


These beauties will for sure learn the definition of a PRETTY RAGE when they enter Holy Falls but will they all heal?


My significant other Ian looked at me with terror and shock in her eyes.  We both knew this day was coming but neither one of us really prepared. When you have a closet full of skeletons you always worry about what will happen when it was time to open that closet door. Things couldn’t stay hidden forever.  Lord knows I wish my secrets could be buried with me but all the shit I tried to hide all these years affected too many people.  It was time the truth was revealed. 


“Tonya are you sure you want to do this?  I mean let’s consider everything.  Sometimes it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie. This is going to really change some lives. Let me ask you a question.  If you weren’t so sick, would you be doing this?”


I asked myself the same question a million times and sadly to say, if my health wasn’t in this state, I don’t think I would say a fucking word but I can’t leave this early and not take a few people with me.  Holy Falls changed my life and now I was coming back…too bad I wouldn’t get to see the look on their faces because I’ll be dead but my soul will feel it.  The day I left, I vowed to never step foot in there again.


“I’m absolutely sure Ian.  Listen, this isn’t easy for either one of us and I already told you I wouldn’t judge you one bit if you decide to go on your way but this is something I have to do.  Think about how long this has gone on now and I’m going to bring that church down to its knees if that’s the last thing I do on this earth.  Are you not on board anymore?  Just be real with me because I’m staying the course.  I know you have a lot going on with your health so you need to put yourself first.”


With a little hesitation, he answered.  “I’m right here with you Tonya but I do feel a little bad because Pastor has done a lot of me and what you’re about to do is going to blow his life up.”


His last statement pissed me off but I kept it to myself.  I was so sick of people following the Pastor like he had some damn authority over people.  Ian should be right here with me ready to shatter the stained glass of that church because I wasn’t the only one who had been effected by Holy Falls.  We had a great thing going years ago and after I was forced out, we broke up and didn’t speak for years.  Out of no where, Ian sent me a FaceBook request and we’ve been dating ever since.  After I found out I was sick, I decided it would be best if we just dated and not marry.  I didn’t want to put all that because I knew my health was sliding down hill.  Aside from my issues, Ian was battling Kidney failure but he carried it well.  He went to dialysis once a week which kept his head above water.   


He had some twisted loyalty to them which was beyond me.  My loyalty went out the window the day I packed up my truck and moved three hours away.  The way I had to uproot my life and move from Detroit never sat well with me but I made the best of it.  Truth be told I wanted to move on from Holy Falls but the decision was made for me and that’s what has angered me all these years. 


“Well now lets move on to the reason all of this is happening.”  I had to stop and collect myself because there was nothing like knowing your death was near and there was nothing you could do about it. Let me just be transparent, I have liver cancer and while I was offered chemo, I denied it and accepted my fate.  This may sound crazy but I knew why this was happening to me…it was my karma and I was going to take it like a woman.  I was dying and there was no way I was letting the man who negatively affected not only my life but my kids life as well not feel any of the raft from this.  I had the perfect plan and he was going to pay for what he did. 


Ian and I continued talking and finalizing all the details.  If you haven’t guessed yet, I was planning my funeral from the obituaries down to what I was going to wear.  My girls, my fruit salad as I loved calling them when they were young…Apple, Clementine and Cherry.  I can’t say they were all as close as they should be but those were my girls and when they find out what my last wishes are, they are going to have to pull together and lean on each other.  Clementine and Cherry were actually twins but they surely didn’t act like it and my oldest Apple hated me.  I knew it and if she wants her inheritance she’s going to have to learn to forgive. The one thing I knew for a fact would be an issue was that if they all didn’t do as I request, none of them will get their inheritance.  This will force them to work as sisters.  They may hate me for it now but I’m bringing them closer.  I just hope they follow through and see I mean well.


My homegoing service was going to be unforgettable.  Some might call me a coward for how I was handling this and maybe they were right to a certain degree but until you’ve walked in my shoes don’t say shit to me and surely don’t judge me.  I made decisions for the girls and I that I thought were the best for us or just me at the time.  Was I a perfect parent?  Fuck no but our lives is something I couldn’t rewind so the mistakes and hurt I posed were my responsibility and again, I know this cancer was my karma. 


Since I’m to the point where lying doesn’t do me any good so I might as well just tell it like it is…my doctor told me I could get chemo even though this type of cancer is rapid but I declined because not only did I know I was without a doubt dying but I literally thought about the girls and I wand what they have endured and I felt I didn’t deserve anything to take the pain away.  I deserved all this discomfort because what they grew up with was just as painful and I was to blame.  Some times we can indirectly hurt our kids and I won’t get into it because I’m sure each one of them will share their journey but they will never know how much I love them.  My love just looks different. 


The time had come to return to Detroit. I will be in a casket, but I was still going to.  Who said that dead people can’t talk?



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