COMING JUNE 5th!
“If I was ya’ best friend, I want you ‘round all the time. If I was ya’ best friend, I promise girl you’d be mine.” In the words of Curtis Jackson.
The lyrics 50 Cent rapped in the song was just the way Dev felt about his best friend. I mean every single word. But how was this possible when the title “love of my life” was given to someone else who was near and dear to his heart?
Preparing for graduation and dealing with the troubles of a long-distance relationship, Dev still seemed to have his mind stuck on his best friend settling for less than what she deserved. Will Dev’s best friend continue with where she’s comfortable? Or will she cross that line and accept the love right in front of her eyes?
You never know how far a person will go until certain lines have been crossed!
The night before…
Soul Mate: Never will I ever leave you. I love you T, you know that.
I read that message over and over and over again. Honestly, I read the message until I fell asleep, that’s just how unbelievable my life was at the moment. I couldn’t believe, after all these years I had finally fallen in love with the one person who knows me best despite all I’ve gone through. Hell, after all we’ve gone through. Imagine that, being in tiresome pain constantly just to be rescued by the person who knows first-hand what it’s like to be by your side. What scared me the most was having to face reality knowing due to the cards we were dealt, this person, my person, may be taken away from me, his family and his friends. There were no words to use that could describe the way I was feeling, but I knew my heart had been ripped out of my chest. It caused me to wake up in the middle of my sleep in an unbearable sweat the night before the second most important day of my life.
For over 15 years of my life, he and I have been stuck at the hip like glue. We’ve been told many times before how perfect we are for each other. Not once in a million years did it dawn on us that this just may be the case and we were possibly a match made in heaven until three crazy ass months ago.
All that time wasted just to have our love life be short lived scared the living shit out of me, causing me to rush to the fridge for a bottle of water. That dream felt so damn real that I could touch it and that’s what scared me the most. My soulmate and my forever, Lord knows I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I had to live a day on this earth without him. He was my everything and I’d do anything to have him here with me for the rest of my life.
“Get yo’ lazy ass out my house and go do something with yo’ self,” I heard my irritating ass mama say as she came in my room snatching the covers off the bed.
“Bro, what the fuck is yo’ problem,” I said, looking her dead smack in her eyes. I was so sick of this bitch. “You always on some bullshit early in the morning, damn!”
Before I even got the chance to lay my head back down on the pillow, I felt my body hit the floor as she dragged me off the bed. See, my mom and I never had the best relationship. The bitch was always jealous of me my whole entire life for some odd reason. Me being as naïve as I am, I thought because I was now in college and barely home, we’d have a much better relationship. Boy was I wrong.
“Bro?” She questioned. “Who the fuck yo’ dirty ass calling bro? I’m so tired of yo’ bitch ass!”
“Bro, watch yo’ mouth,” I said, getting off the floor, trying to walk around her to the bathroom in an attempt to get my shit together so I can leave.
I was really growing sick of this bitch. Every time I came home from school on break, it was always something with her. I never knew what I did to her and nobody else knew either, but for some reason, my mother and I just didn’t get along. I mean, I got two younger siblings and she takes good care of them; Quinn who’s 16 and Demetria who’s 14. And when I say good care, I mean that shit. She doesn’t put them through half the shit she does me, but me, on the other hand, is a whole different story. I tried talking to my grandparents, I tried talking to my aunts and uncles, even my cousins and no one seems to have an answer as to why she hates me the way she do. I can tell you one thing, I can’t wait until spring break is over because I’m getting the fuck up out of here. Atlanta is calling my name and Monday can’t come fast enough. I’m just pissed this is my senior year of college, so now I really have to figure out what’s next for me because I’d be damned if I have to come back here and stay in this hell hole with this bitch. No ma’am, no sir, not doing that!
“Every time you call me bro, I’m going to call you a bitch,” she said, putting her hand over the doorway to my little sisters’ room so I couldn’t get out. “Bitch!”
That was it, I finally had enough of her shit. Throughout my entire 22 years of living, I’ve had to deal with this shit and today is the day I finally decided to put an end to it. I’ve always been the respectful type. Every time my mom got out of line with me, I just called me a ride (if I didn’t drive my car up here from school) and got the fuck on, but not today. I promise this bitch won’t ever disrespect me another day in her life, and if I had to die making sure of that, then so be it. My respect is all I got and that’s what this bitch got to know.
“Didn’t I just tell you to watch yo’ mouth?” I asked my mom as I stepped back, tooting my hands on my hips.
By this time, I noticed my little brother and sister standing in the hallway by the living room, checking to see if things were about to get heated between the two of us. Truth be told, they were. Q and Meechie knew me well enough to know when I say shit like ‘didn’t I tell you’, shit was about to go left fast. They’ve seen me get down in action plenty of times, just not with our mother, but trust me, today is the muthafucking day.
“Well what you gone do about it, bitch?”
I blew my mama shit so far back, this bitch went stumbling into the wall behind her.
“Didn’t I tell yo’ bitch ass to watch yo’ mouth when you talkin’ to me?” I asked just as I was preparing to turn my back to collect my shit and get the fuck out of her house. “I’m up. I’ll be damned if I stay in this bitch another night with yo’ crazy ass! You thru!”
Before I turned my back to her, I noticed her lying on the floor holding her jaw as blood leaked out the side of her mouth. As much as I wanted to feel bad for my mom, I just couldn’t. I don’t know what I’ve ever done to this bitch but she just did not like me for some reason. I mean, I’ve always been the perfect child to her. I’ve always gotten good grades in school, I was never boy crazy, and I wasn’t out here having sex at an early age. As soon as I became legal, I got me a job, I got a full ride scholarship to Clark Atlanta, and I kept her house clean at all times whenever I was here. So, I really don’t know what it is that I could have ever done so wrong to make her hate me. At this point in my life, I got bigger shit to worry about than why her evil ass got something against me. She can kiss my ass at this point, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
“You bitch!” My mama said from behind me as I heard footsteps running my way at the same time.
Just as I turned around, she landed a blow right to my face that sent me stumbling back. Now, I ain’t never put hands on my mama a day in my life, and I ain’t never even raised my voice at her. However, one thing my mama needs to know is I know how to beat the fuck out of a bitch on the street and today confirmed she was no different. Before I knew it, I was on top of her, working the fuck out of her trifling ass.
“T, chill!” I heard Quinn say as he and Meechie ran our way to break up the fight.
My siblings knew there was no stopping me until I was done with this bitch. And how fed up I was with her, who knew when that would be. They knew I was way too strong anyways. I wasn’t the tallest bitch on earth. In fact, I was quite short, but I was built Ford tough like a fucking coke bottle, literally. Big ass titties, thick ass thighs, nice round ass with a pretty ass chinky looking face. Despite me rocking a short haircut with curls all over my head, a lot of people in Atlanta especially say I remind them of Ari Fletcher (TheRealKyleSister on Instagram) a lot. I took that shit as a compliment because the girl was very pretty to me, but she was a rat and that’s where our similarities stop. I loved that bitch though. Anyways, because I was short yet thick, I had to fight my whole way through middle and high school. For some reason, bitches always thought I wanted their nigga when that clearly was never the case. I barely fucked with niggas, and to be honest, I found myself more attracted to bitches. A nigga was the last thing on my mind, but these bitches was too birdy to realize that. They tried me any and every chance they got, literally. I even got jumped a few times, but that’s only because these bitches knew they couldn’t fuck with me when it came to that fighting shit. This right here is the main reason why I never hung with bitches and why I rarely had female friends; these bitches be too dumb for me.
Anyways, my siblings knew it was a wrap on my mama’s ass and I heard it all in their voices. As bad as I wanted to lay off her ass, I just couldn’t. I was whooping her ass for all the shit she put me through my entire 22 years of living. This ass whooping was well deserved and not a person on this earth could stop me from what I was doing to her.
“T, you hurting ma!” I heard Meechie yell as she tried to grab my arms while Q tried to grab this bitch from under me.
“I don’t give a fuck!” I yelled. “Let me the fuck go, Meechie, and I’m not playing with you.”
By this time, I had yanked away from my mama and was now standing over her. I was prepared to let her hair go when this bitch kicked me in my stomach. It went down from there. I dog walked that bitch all up her hallway until we were in the front of her house. Dragging her by the hair with one hand, I was blowing her shit out with the other hand because I needed this bitch to know she wasn’t fucking with no lil’ bitch. Bitch, you raised a muthafucking beast and I promised today was the day her raggedy ass found out.
“I’m so sick of you!” I cried in between blows. “What the fuck have I ever done to you, huh?”
“Get this bitch off me!” She yelled from under me.
“So, you gone keep calling me out my name, huh?’ I said just as I stopped to look her in her face. “That’s how you feel about me?”
“Bitch, I’m done with you. Don’t let me get my pistol because I’m shooting you, bitch!”
I was filled with so much anger that I couldn’t do shit else but stomp a hole in this bitch face. Just as I loosened my hand from her hair to raise my foot and connect that shit with her face, my brother slid her right from under me in perfect timing. I looked up to see my sister standing there in tears as my brother held my mother by the arms while she kicked and screamed to get away from him.
“Let me the fuck go!”
“Ma, chill,” Quinn said as he tried his best to restraint her. “T, it’s best you leave, man.”
“What have I ever done to you?” I asked. “Huh? I’ve been the perfect child to you my whole life and all I’ve ever wanted was for you to love me the way I love you. Why? Why couldn’t you do that?”
“Bitch, you ain’t never been no daughter of mine. I wish yo’ no good as daddy would have took you with him when he left!”
I was standing in the doorway to her home with tears flowing down my face. I couldn’t believe I just had to whoop my mother’s ass and more importantly, I couldn’t believe it took her all these years for her to finally tell me her real issue with me. My father.
“So that’s why?”
“Yeah, bitch, it is!” She yelled as she tried to attack me yet again.
“Ma, stop!” Meechie yelled. “Please, ma, just please.”
“Don’t say shit to me or you can take yo’ lil’ dumb ass with yo’ sister. This bitch ain’t welcomed in my home no fucking more!”
“All of this over a man who never loved you?” I asked through the tears that rolled down my cheeks. “A man who never loved me?”
“Yeah, it is. He never loved me because of you,” she said. “I wish I would have aborted ya’ ass like I started to do, like he wanted me to do!”
I looked from her to my sister then my brother. In all honesty, the look on their faces showed disgust just as it did on mine. I can’t believe she just said that to me.
Through harsh breaths, I finally mustered up the words to say, “Wow! Some mother, huh?”
I was in such disbelief, all I could do was snatch my phone out my sisters’ hand and grab my keys from the latch by the door. I was prepared to walk out of this bitch life for once and for all. No way in hell this shit of a mother deserves a good ass daughter like me, and after today, I was officially revoking her access. She was done, and I meant that shit from the bottom of my heart.
“Yeah, wow my ass!” She yelled yet again. “I knew I shouldn’t have killed that nigga for raping you when he did. You always ruined my life, you lil’ whore of a bitch!”
Stopping dead in my tracks, I turned to face her just to hear her repeat those words to me one last time. I thought my ears were playing tricks on me, but I was in denial. I knew my mother hated me, but there’s no way in hell a mother could hate her child this much, no fucking way! I refused to believe it, but by the look in her eyes, I could tell she meant every single word she just said.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?”
I threw my phone and keys aside and walked closer to her so she could say that shit to my face.
“You heard what the fuck I said!” She yelled. “That’s right! Not only did I lose my first man because of you, but I had to kill my baby’s daddy all because you ain’t know how to stay in a kid’s place. Want to parade around the house in front of my man with just a t-shirt and panties on. I always knew you was a little slut, even as a little girl I saw that shit in your eyes!”
“I was fucking 9-years old,” I cried. “And you, as my mother, didn’t protect me! I was a fucking child. I was your child and you let this shit happen to me! How could you?!”
“You ain’t ever been no fucking child of mine!” She yelled, backing up. “Always wanted to steal my life from me! I’ve always hated you! I wish I would’ve never had you, bitch!”
“Bitch, I’m a kill you!” I yelled, running in her direction.
I had it in my mind that I was about to kill this bitch, and that’s exactly what I was going to do as I took off running in her direction. Before I could even take another step further, she had retrieved her pistol from behind her back and pulled that bitch out on me.
“Take another step and I’m a bust yo’ bitch ass!”
Not one person in this house moved. It was confirmed that this bitch had officially lost her mind.
“What have I ever done to you?” I stood there and cried like a helpless baby yearning for love from her mother.
“Clean yo’ dirty ass ears and listen, bitch, because I just told you!”
“Yo,’ what the fuck is you doing?” Q asked as he reached over her to grab her pistol out of her hand. “Ma, you tripping!”
“Leave me the fuck alone!” She yelled as she tried to wipe her nose with the back of her had that held her gun. “Matter a fact, everybody get the fuck out my house and y’all got two minutes to do it!”
“You know what, I pray that one day God heals you. Yo’ retarded ass needs all the healing in the world,” I said, trying to walk past her and Quinn to go to Meechie’s room. “Let me get my shit, and I’ll never step foot in this bitch again!”
“Aht, aht, bitch!” She said, cocking her gun and pointing it at me over Quinn’s head. “Don’t grab shit out my house, you get the fuck out right now!”
I stared at that bitch for as long as I could.
“Did I stutter?” She asked, tooting her hands on her hips.
“Seek help!” I said, snatching my phone and my keys from Meechie before walking out the door.
As bad as I wanted to stay there and put my life on the line to fight for my respect, I knew it just wasn’t worth it. That bitch was a worthless piece of shit ass mother, and I couldn’t wait until the day karma came and tore her ass up. How could you be so evil and cruel to someone you brought life to? How? I just couldn’t wrap my mind around that shit. Then the fact that she let a man rape me to turn around and blame me for it blew me out the fucking water! I couldn’t believe this bitch. Of all my years living on earth, I would have never guessed my father and my siblings’ father would be the two reasons this bitch hated me as much as she did. However, it was, and I was so fucking disgusted. I never had many friends because of this. I hated bitches who took a nigga’s word over their friends, that shit was so weak to me.
Now I see why Tonya’s bitch ass didn’t have friends either. Her trifling ass put every single nigga she ever dated above her kids, and if any bitch was to stick around and condone that shit, they’d be just as sick as her ass. I mean, all these years and she never ever told Quinn and Demetria what happened to their dad, never. She would always say someone murdered him before Q’s 4th birthday and the homicide remains unsolved, but now they finally know the truth. I don’t know if I feel for them more or myself. My siblings are my heart. The fucked-up part about it all is that my mother has spoiled them their entire life, whereas I was forced to learn how to survive. I don’t need that bitch for shit but with them, it’s completely different. She’s all they know, and I feel so bad for them for that reason alone. I honestly, truly hate this bitch with every bone in my body. After today, she’s dead to me and I mean that shit from the bottom of my heart.