Young, beautiful, and naïve Camryn Piers soon realizes that sometimes the most dangerous and hurtful place to be is in the bed of a lover who doesn’t truly love you. After one night with her much older boyfriend Evan, Camryn finds herself caught up in a whirlwind of unfortunate, uncontrollable, and unforeseen events that could very well lead to life changing events.
This story highlights the issues of drugs and alcohol, ‘young love’, peer pressure, parenting an adolescent, the influence of sexually driven media, teen partying, teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted illness, and pelvic inflammatory disease.
Sit back, fasten your seatbelts, and get ready for the ride of your life as Camryn takes you on a journey in Love is a Tragedy: Camryn’s Secrets.
Two Months Later
Me and Evan have been dating for two months now, and everything has been great. He’s introduced me to his friends and they’re all pretty cool, nonjudgmental people who didn’t seem bothered at all by our two-year age difference. People know that I’m his girlfriend and though there have been a few rumors about him being a player, I don’t pay attention to any of it because he’s shown me nothing but respect on and off campus so that’s all that matters to me. He wants me to meet his parents soon, but I’m not too sure about that just yet because meeting his parents means they’ll want to meet my mom and she doesn’t even know that I’m sneaking behind her back to see him. It’s not like I want to hide the fact that I have a boyfriend from her, I just don’t want to be lectured again about being too young to date and all that other mess. So for now, I much rather just keep it to ourselves.
“And where have you been?” Julise asked as she approached me with Kira right behind her.
We were in the girls locker room getting ready for dance practice. Since our date, Evan and have been spending so much time together that I hardly hang out with my friends anymore. This is honestly my first time in maybe two weeks that I’ve been to dance practice. Having a boyfriend is fun, but it’s time consuming also especially when he wants to spend time with you almost everyday.
“I’m sorry y’all, I been hanging out with Evan and—“
“So the rumors are true, y’all are dating huh?” Kira asked as I smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, I guess they are. I mean after that day at the park, he walked me home and we talked for a few hours before he went home. He called me later that night and asked me on a date; I was skeptical at first but I accepted the invitation since my mom was working a double.” I told them as we got dressed in our practice uniforms.
“Where did y’all go and why are we just finding out, Cam?” Julise questioned with a glare.
“Girl calm down, I wanted to wait until after the date to tell y’all, but we ended up having so much fun and it slipped my mind. But, he took me bowling and we got food before he took me home. We went out a couple more times and I met his friends, now I’m his girl.” I blushed.
“All this happened and you still didn’t think to call us, Camryn?” Kira asked.
“I honestly don’t know why I didn’t call, but I really like him y’all. It’s been two whole months, we’ve been spending a lot of time together, and I think I’m falling in love with him.” I confessed as the stared wide eyed at me.
It was the first time I’d said it out loud and it probably would be the last time I’d say it, but I knew what I was feeling deep down. I mean Evan is an amazing guy, super sweet, and funny; I had grown really deep feelings for him, feelings I’d never had before and I knew it was love. At least I hope what I’m feeling is love and I’m hoping he feels the same.
“Love? Camryn, are you serious? What do you know about love, you’re only fourteen and Evan is so much older?” Kira questioned.
“He’s only older by two years, Kira and what do you mean what does she know about love? I mean we may be young, but I’m sure she knows what she’s feeling just like you know what you feel for Marcus.” Julise pointed out as Kira rolled her eyes.
“Marcus and I have known each other since preschool and have been together for almost two years which is basically a decade compared to the two months that she’s known Evan. There’s no way she can be in love that fast.” Kira stated.
I had to chime in on the conversation quickly because the two of them would go back and forth all day about literally nothing at all.
“Y’all stop it okay. I mean Kira might be right, what could I possibly know about love or even being in love. It could just be a phase that I’m going through; all I know is when I’m with Evan, my heart flutters, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I get these crazy butterflies in my stomach that won’t go away. He makes me so happy, I feel like I can do or be anything whenever I’m with him. I don’t have to pretend to be someone that I’m not and I can just be myself and have fun with him.” I told them as we headed to the gym.
“I know what you’re feeling, Cam and I’m happy that you found someone who makes you feel the way that Marcus makes me feel or the way Tevin makes Julise feel, but please be careful when dating a guy like Evan. Obviously he’s older and more mature which means he’s probably ready for things that you aren’t ready for just yet, so don’t move too fast or rush things just to satisfy him or anyone else for that matter.” Kira stated and I knew she was talking about sex.
I’d already made it clear to Evan that I wasn’t ready for sex just yet and I probably wouldn’t be for awhile. He told me that he understood and was okay with my decision while promising not to pressure me into doing anything that I wasn’t sure about or ready for; I respect him so much for being honest and real. I hadn’t told anybody about him going down on me and didn’t plan on telling anyone because it wasn’t their business. Nor was it their business that I went down on him a few times; it’s our little secret and I rather keep it that way because Lord knows if word got out about it, I would be in a world of trouble.
“Anyway, Trey and his brother are having a big party Friday night, they invited the whole school. Are y’all going?” Julise asked while we did our warmups.
“Marcus told me about the party last night so you know we’ll be there,” Kira confirmed and they looked at me, waiting for my answer.
“I don’t know; I mean y’all know how my mama is, she probably won’t let me out the house.”
“Cam, stop tripping okay? This is the hottest party of the year, there’s no way you’re going to miss out on the fun. Plus, I know Evan is going to ask you to go anyway, so just tell your mom that you’re spending the night at mine or Kira’s house Friday night. You know she can’t say no to you spending the weekend with one of us that way we can all go to the party together.” Julise suggested.
“You know if Evan asks you to go then you won’t say no to him anyway, so you may as well lie and tell her that you’re staying with one of us. You know we’ll vouch for you so you really have nothing to worry about.” Kira added with a shrug.
“Well, I guess y’all are right. I mean I have been waiting since the beginning of the year for Evan to notice me and now that he has, I want him to show me off every chance that we get,” I blushed, pulling my hair into a ponytail.
“Okay, then it’s settled. My mom and dad are going out of town Friday morning, so they’re leaving Makayla in charge which means we will be free to do whatever we want. You guys can get dressed at my house and we’ll walk to the party together.” Kira suggested.
“Cool, that sounds like a plan. Plus, I already got this real cute outfit in mind, this party is going to be off the chain.” Julise commented excitedly.
For the remainder of practice, we just talked and texted on our phones until it was time to head home. I can’t even lie, I’m excited about the party and can’t wait to see what the night had to offer me and Evan.
Friday night came much quicker than I expected it to come, but I was excited about it. Mama left a note telling me that she was spending the weekend with her boyfriend and gave me permission to spend the weekend with Kira and Julise since Angel wasn’t coming down for the weekend. Since it was already settled that we were staying at Kira’s house, I packed my overnight bag and took it to school with me. We were all in Kira’s room getting dressed for the party when her sister Makayla walked in.
“And where y’all think y’all going looking all fast and shit?” She asked, leaning against the door.
“To the party at Trey’s house. The whole gonna be there and it’s going to be lit!” Kira replied excitedly.
“To a party huh? Do mama and daddy know about this little party?” She questioned.
“Of course, they know, I told them about it yesterday just like I’m sure you told them about Dean staying over with you this weekend.” Kira countered with a slick smirk.
“Whatever, don’t take y’all asses to that party being grown and be back in this house before midnight or I’m snitching on all y’all asses.” She warned us.
“We hear you, Kayla and we will be back before midnight. Now, can you leave us alone so we can finish getting dressed please?”
“Fine, y’all be safe and call me if I need to come get y’all.” She said before leaving us alone.
We made it to the party and the place was turnt to the max. People were dancing and grinding on each other. The whole house smelled of weed and alcohol, and the music was loud as hell. We were literally at the hottest party of the year; only fourteen years old and all sipping on Four Locos mixed with Bacardi and some other alcohol, moving our bodies to the latest Beyonce and Jay-Z song. Evan was in the kitchen with a few of his friends smoking and getting drinks; my baby was looking so fine tonight dressed in his True Religion outfit and Jordan’s on his feet with a fresh line and taper. I was low key so in love and obsessed with him that it was almost crazy. A few seconds later, he came back with two red cups in his hand and he handed one to me.
“Here, drink this. It has a little bit more alcohol in it, but it won’t do no harm. It’ll help you relax and loosen up a little bit,” he said as I took the cup from his hand.
I nodded and smiled slightly as I placed the cup to my mouth and took a healthy sip from it. I knew I could potentially get drunk, but I figured that he would take care of me, so I drank the drink and asked him to get me another one. By now, Kira and Julise were having fun with Tevin and Marcus, so I was in my own world with Evan and his friends. He had taught me how to smoke a blunt and I was on cloud nine, dancing and grinding on his lap. Soon, the party started to die down as several people started to leave, that’s when Trey walked over to us. Trey Davis was a different kind of fine; light caramel skin tone with beautiful deep brown eyes with those long curly eyelashes, full lips that matched his skin tone and his perfect 6 foot-2 inch frame that seemed to tower over you when he stood up. Did I mention he had that natural curly tapered cut that made the girls go crazy? Evan is fine, but Trey was next level fine and a senior.
“Aye, since the party dying down and people starting to leave, we about to play seven in heaven. Y’all playing or what?” he asked us.
Seven in heaven had to be an equal number of boys and girls in order to play the game. Everybody puts their names in a hat and whoever draws your name, the two of you are locked in a room together to do whatever for seven minutes. It could be kissing, touching, sex with clothes on or off, or just talking for seven minutes; the only rule to the game is that there’s no punking out once you get inside that room and the door locks. Everybody was down to play, but I was hesitant because playing this game meant I could end up in the room with a guy that isn’t Evan and doing God knows what with him or I could end up in the room with a girl and doing something strange that I’ve never done. Call me crazy, but girls are into some weird shit and I’m not about to be bumping coochies with nobody.
“I don’t know…” I responded nervously because I’m still a virgin unlike half the people in the house, including Julise and Kira who both lost their virginity during summer break.
Evan turned me toward him and kissed me softly before looking into my eyes. “You don’t have to be nervous about the game, won’t nothing happen that you don’t want to happen…no matter who pulls your name.” he said to me.
“You promise?” I inquired.
“I promise. If shit get uncomfortable, I’ll tell Trey to shut the game down and we’ll leave.” He assured me, but I was still hesitant.
“C’mon Cam, please? We just need one last person to make it an even game, it’ll be fun.” Julise pleaded.
I was still buzzed from the weed and alcohol, and I didn’t want to be a party pooper. Plus, peer pressure is a bitch forreal. After much pleading and coaxing from everyone, I gave in and finally decided to play the game.
“Fine, I’ll play,” I said to my waiting friends and boyfriend.
Trey smiled and winked at me. “That’s what I’m talking about lil’ mama. Everybody put y’all names in the hat and we heading to the den since it’s more room for everybody to sit. Niggas on one side and ladies on the other side.” He said as everybody followed him to the den.
Deep down I was hoping and damn near praying that I would pull Evan’s name or he would pull my name. He was just so perfect in my eyes; fine as ever, athletic, book and street smart, and he was all mine. Everything about him sent this tingling feeling throughout my body from his smile to his voice, the way he kissed me and said my name. The way his eyes sparkled in the sun; I was in love and I wasn’t ashamed to show it. Once all the names were in the hat and everyone was settled, the game began and since it was Trey’s party, he got to choose the first name. He ended up in a room with this girl named Vickie and we all knew what was going down in that room. Drinks and smoke were still in full rotation as other people took turns pulling names out the hat. When it was my turn to pick a name, I got nervous all over again until I opened the paper and saw Evan’s name; I breathed a sigh of relief as he stood up and grabbed my hand, leading me to a bedroom on the second floor. With each room we passed, there were different sound coming from each one: sexual moans, talking, laughing, and some arguing. I felt that nervous feeling creeping inside of me again and wanted to turn around, but I remembered the golden rule of the game you can’t punk out…whatever happens in the room stays in the room. I sucked up my fears and let Evan lead me into a dimly lit room with a king sized bed; he closed and locked the door while I sat on the bed, fiddling with my fingers.
He sat next to me with a cup in his hand, neither of us said anything, we just sat in silence for a moment. Needing something to easy my nerves, I took the cup from his hand and drank it down until it was almost gone. The liquor was stronger than before, but I didn’t care, I just needed to relax. The liquor kicked in quick and my body started to relax as Evan began kissing and sucking on my neck causing me to moan softly.
“You smell so good, baby.” He mumbles against my neck as he hand slowly eased up my thigh and under my dress until he was softly massaging my vagina through my underwear.
“Evan…I wanna do this, but I’m scared,” I whispered softly as he continued to kiss my neck and play with my clit.
“I told you before that you don’t have to be scared. I’m not going to hurt you, I’m going to make you feel good. Just trust me…I love you.” He kissed my lips.
Just hearing the words come out of his mouth made my heart jump; they words just seemed to roll of his tongue so easily. I wanted to believe that he was lying to me, but the sincerity in his eyes and tone told me that he was telling the truth. Pulling him closer, I deepened the kiss while pulling his shirt over his head. Without a second thought, he began undressing me until I was completely naked; my moans and whimpers filled the room as he continued to kiss and suck all over my body, working his way from my breasts down to my stomach and down to my kitten, rubbing it softly as another moan escaped my lips.
“You wet as fuck, Cam.” He whispered in awe and I mentally thank God that I had shaved the other day.
My back arched slightly as I felt his soft lips on my other set of lips and he slowly slid one then two fingers deep inside of me causing me to gasp softly. Evan had given me head a few times before, but it was never this intense and good. When I felt his tongue slide inside, my hips went flying off the bed as I grabbed his head and cried out to the heavens with satisfaction and pleasure. An electric feeling jolted through my body as he sucked on my sensitive clit and my legs shook uncontrollably until I came all over his tongue and he drank up every drop as I screamed to God and the heavens for more. Knowing that he’d successfully done his job like all the other times before, he removed his jeans and boxers allowing his manhood to spring to life right before my eyes and I was in awe yet still breathless from my orgasm. Of course, I had already seen it before when I gave him head, still it was very impressive to say the least. He wasn’t too big or thick like the ones I’d seen on HBO or Cinemax late at night or like I’d read about in those Zane novels that Angel left at the house.
He climbed on top of me and kissed again while slowly pushing my legs apart. “You sure you ready?” He asked, looking in my eyes.
I nodded nervously. “Yeah, I’m sure…let’s just get it over with already.”
“I really do love you, Camryn. I don’t want you to think or feel like I’m saying this just to get in your pants or none of that because I really care about you a lot and—” before he could finish, I kissed him roughly. We kissed for a while before he pulled away and looked at me once again and said, “I promise I won’t hurt you…all you have to do is just lay back and relax, let me handle the rest.”
“Okay…” I nodded as he kissed me once again before slowly sliding inside of me and breaking my hymen causing me softly and cry softly. “I love you.” He whispered so soft and sweet in my ear, trying to take my mind off the pain.
“I love you too…”
Those were the last words I remember hearing or saying before closing my eyes and praying that the pain I was feeling between my legs would soon subside. It was the best and worst pain I’d ever experienced in my life, but Evan was gentle with me and made me feel like he truly cared whether I was comfortable or not. Less than fifteen minutes later, it was all over, I’d lost my virginity to the boy I had fallen in love with. Evan grunted loudly and bit down on my neck as he released inside of me, then slowly pulled out. I felt the sticky wetness of his nut between my legs, but I wasn’t too concerned about him releasing inside. After we were done, we cleaned up after ourselves, got dressed, and went back down to the party like nothing ever happened. I mean of course everyone knew that we had sex from the way I was walking funny when we came back downstairs, but nobody said a word. For the rest of the night, we got wasted and had fun until it was time for us to leave. Kira and Julise went back home while I left with Evan and stayed at his house. Overall, the entire night was the best night of my life.
The days seemed to fly by in a blur and before I knew it, several weeks had flown by since we had sex at the party. After that night, we started having more and more sex, especially since I would sneak out to stay at his house as much as I could. Mama was always working or with her boyfriend that she hardly noticed if I was home or not. I was starting to think she didn’t care anymore as long as I wasn’t in her way. Since I gave Evan my virginity, it seems like all he wants to do now is have sex all the time. We hardly ever go out anymore and we don’t spend time together like we used to unless we’re meeting up to have sex. Whenever I’m on my cycle, I don’t hear from him until two or three weeks later. Kira says he might be messing around with other girls when he can’t get sex from me, but I don’t believe that Evan would do me like that. At least I hope he wouldn’t do me like that. I would be hurt if he played me like that especially after telling me he loves me.
“Camryn, I hope you’re up getting ready for school! Your bus will be here in thirty minutes and I have to leave for work in ten minutes.” Mama called outside of my bedroom.
“I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes!” I called back before walking inside my adjoining bathroom. I sat on the toilet and started to pee, but I swear I immediately started crying and nearly fell to the floor. The pain in my lower belly was almost excruciating and the burning sensation when I peed only made it worse. I had no idea what was going on and I knew my mom had already left for work, so I couldn’t tell her what was going on. Once the pain went away, I wiped myself and finished getting dressed so I could head to school; I would just have to talk to the school nurse about my situation.
“Cam, are you okay? You’ve been really distant all morning, what’s wrong?” Julise asked me. We were sitting in our fourth period science class taking notes for our midterm exams.
“Honestly J, I’m not okay at all. Ever since me and Evan had sex, my body’s been feeling weird and not in a good way.” I told her.
“What do you mean weird? Like pregnant kind of weird or something else?” She questioned curiously.
“No, not like that, plus I’m on the pill anyway so I can’t get pregnant. I mean I’ve been having this weird pain in my lower belly area, and whenever we have sex, it’s painful but not like painful when I first lost my virginity. I’ve been bleeding between my cycles and this morning when I used the bathroom, I got this weird burning feeling that burned like somebody shoved chili peppers in my vagina.” I explained as she stared at me with this almost pained look on her face.
“Oh my gosh! Cam, are you serious? How long has this been happening?” She inquired.
“I mean I’ve been having the pain and bleeding for a couple weeks now, but the burning sensation just started this morning and I forgot to mention the yellow looking stuff that comes out when I wipe myself. It’s weird as hell.”
“Well, when was the last time you and Evan had sex, and did y’all use protection?”
Pushing my hair behind my ear, I was almost ashamed to tell my best friend that Evan an I just had sex a few days ago behind the bleachers in the gym. Pretty stupid and desperate right? But what was I supposed to do? We hadn’t had sex in two weeks because I was on my period and since he had practice after school, I just gave in and we had sex. Luckily no one was around so we didn’t get caught, but I still felt a little dirty doing it at school.
“We had sex just a few days ago in the gym and every time we try to use a condom, he says it doesn’t feel right so we don’t use them.” I told her and she just stared at me in shock.
“Dang Cam, I didn’t think you would start going crazy like this once you started dating Evan and lost your virginity. I mean even I know how to tell Tevin no when he wants to have sex and we’re both smart enough to use protection whether it feels good or not. Like are you not aware of unplanned pregnancy or worse than that, what about STDs and stuff like that. I mean I know you’re in love and all, but don’t let it get you into some stuff you can’t get out of or ruin your life. You need protection at all times because there’s no telling who else Evan might be doing when he’s not doing you.” She preached.
“Do you think Evan would really cheat on me?” I asked naively.
“You’re my best friend, Camryn and I won’t tell you anything wrong, but almost all boys cheat on their girlfriends. Especially boys that are older than us. They feel like one girl isn’t enough for them and what you aren’t willing to do for or with them, then another girl most definitely will. My mama always said that men always have more than one egg in their basket and they always leave room for more. And I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but I heard from Amber that Brittney told her that Katie heard from her sister Shannon that Evan was spotted leaving Nasty Nala’s house the day before yesterday and everybody knows that Nala only invites boys over when she wants to have sex. I’m not telling you this to hurt you, but I felt that you should know before you fall any deeper than you already are with him.” She said.
I knew Julise wasn’t lying, but I didn’t want to tell her that I knew. I figured out that he was probably with another female when he came to school the other day with passion marks on his neck and ear. When I asked him what happened, he told to me that he had an allergic reaction to something that he had eaten and it was nothing for me to worry about. This was actually the same day he asked to have sex in the gym. I feel so stupid and gullible.
“So what are you going to tell your mom? I mean if it were me and I was having those symptoms I would tell my mom so she could help me.”
“That’s because Ava is more understanding than my mom. If I tell my mom, she’ll flip out on me because she’ll know that I’m not a virgin anymore and if she finds out I’ve been dating and sleeping with Evan, my whole life will be over.” I told her truthfully.
“Dang Cam! I mean I don’t know what else to tell you. You could be worried for nothing, I remember my sister Jaime having similar symptoms as yours but when she went to the doctor they told her she had a UTI. She was able to treat it with antibiotics, but the doctor also said drink more water and cranberry juice can ease the symptoms as well. I don’t know maybe you can try that and see if it helps. I also think you should talk to Evan too just to be on the safe side.” She encouraged as the bell rang for us to go to lunch.
Evan had the same lunch shift as us, so hopefully I could talk to him and let him know what’s going on. The school nurse was out today, so I didn’t get to talk to her; maybe I’ll just take Julise’s advice and drink more water or cranberry juice. Hopefully that will help because there’s no way I can tell my mom about this, she’d kill me for sure.
“Aye! I been looking for you everywhere, what’s going on? I ran into your friend Julise and she told me that you wanted to talk to me about something important.” Evan said, sitting next to me on a bench in the courtyard.
“To be honest, I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ve been feeling kind of strange lately and I don’t know what’s going on. Like my body feels really weird…” my voice trailed of as he eyed me with concern.
“What you mean weird? Like weird how? You saying you might be pregnant or something?” He inquired nervously and I quickly shook my head.
“No not like that. I mean I’ve developed this burning sensation whenever I pee and there’s this weird smelling, yellowish discharge that comes out when I wipe.” I explained to him.
“Yo! That shit don’t sound normal, ma and why you feel like you need to tell me this anyway? Shouldn’t you talk to your mom about that or something? It could be something serious.”
“You know if I go to my mom the both of us would be in a world of trouble. And what do you mean why am I telling you? Evan, I didn’t start feeling this way or having these symptoms until after me and you have sex all those times not to mention we didn’t use protection not one time. And let me not forget the fact that rumors going around that you’ve been messing around with Nasty Nala behind my back and everybody knows how that girl gets down.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at him.
“Man listen, I may have been wrong for messing with that girl behind your back, but you can’t put this all on me. I mean I been with plenty females before and never had one of them come at me saying that they got yellow discharge or that they burn when they pee.”
“Hold on, are you sitting in my face and somehow implying that I’ve been sleeping around with guys that aren’t you?” I asked and he just stared at me for a moment before he finally spoke.
“Look Cam, I’m be real with you, aight. I got love for you and I meant when I said I love you, but it ain’t no secret that you ain’t my only one and I know it’s other niggas around campus that you been conversations with so ain’t no need to play innocent. Whatever you got going on in your pants ain’t my problem, my dick straight.” He stared bluntly.
I felt my heart sank at his words because never did I think Evan would ever look me in my face and say that I’m not his only girl. I mean I chat with and talk to other guys on the phone, but none of them can ever say that I’ve had sex with them or anything of that nature because it would be a bold face lie. I guess I should’ve listened to Kira when she told me that I was moving too fast with Evan and he wasn’t faithful to me. Now, I’m caught up in some bullshit that I can’t get myself out of…how could I be so stupid.
“Let me tell you something, Evan, whatever is going on with my body has everything to do with you. There ain’t another boy on this campus or even in this city that can fix his mouth and say that I slept with him because I’ve only been with your trifling behind. I don’t care what you have or had going on with other girls behind my back because whatever you end up with is going to be your karma. As for me and you, we’re done; I don’t wanna talk to you more, don’t call my phone no more, come by my house, look my way, or none of that. I should’ve listened when my friends tried to warm me about your trifling behind, but I was too blind and stupid to believe them. I hope the next girl you lay down with gives you something that you can’t get rid of, dirty bastard.” I mushed his face and got up, leaving him where he sat looking dumb.