Kasaundra Sanford has done nothing but be true to herself. She is who she is and isn't changing for anyone. She calls it self- love and putting herself first. However, everyone around her call it something else: fear. Since a very harsh break-up, Kasaundra can have attraction. She can take anyone to bed. She can't—she won't have love. Well, that's until painter and poet Amir Davis enters her life.
Was it love at first sight? Was it an instant attraction? Kasaundra doesn't know and all she does know is that she's never felt anything like what she feels for Amir.
After a game cat-and-mouse between the two and a hot night of passion, two agree on friendship. But it feels like the Universe is hell bent on breaking Kasaundra’s will to open up her heart to love. As she does, Kasaundra begins to feel a wide array of emotions in terms of the new man in her life.
Happiness. Anger. Bliss. Jealousy. Kasaundra can't seem to keep herself in check.
Love's calling her name. Will she follow her heart and answer? Or will her emotions cause her to reject possibly the best thing going in her life?
Chapter One - Twenty-Two Year Old Kasaundra
I was Kasaundra Sanford, twenty-two years old and I was a Bishop’s daughter. I was the quiet well mannered “good girl” when my daddy is around, but when he was not in my presence, I was simply: naughty by nature. That was my truth—the real me and I always lived in my truth.
I was just coming home. It was about two o’clock in the morning. I was getting in from a small gathering with my friends from church who were leaving for college. It was supposed to have been a nice evening with just us girls, but turned out to be a night of complete sin, fun, and sex. My friends and I were all the same: church girls who were denied the ability to be truly free (under God’s watchful eye) and we all rebelled in secret because of it.
As I passed my dad’s room, I saw that his night light was on. I didn’t go in because of the way I was dressed and I was not prepared to get into a fight with him at this hour of the morning.
After taking a shower and changing into my pajamas, I heard my father’s voice call my name. “Kasaundra,”
I went into my dad’s room, pretending that I had just woken up. The look on his face told me that he knew better. I stood humbly before him.
“Where you been...coming home this late?” He asked.
I smiled. “I told you that my friend, Tasha was having a going away party.”
My father frowned. “Oh, the lesbian girl.” he spat in disgust and it took everything in me not to roll my eyes.
I knew what was coming. Daddy would start quoting the Bible especially Leviticus. I knew Daddy loved God, but he was beyond hatred and homophobia at this point. Society had changed and being gay, lesbian, or transgender was normal. That’s why I never had the heart to tell him that I was bisexual. He’d probably would have staked me in heart like I was a vampire if he ever found out the truth. It was mostly his own fault for halting my growth. If it was church or God-related then I was forbidden to go. At eighteen, he finally began to loosen up some, but he always had his eyes on my friends. As began to lecture me, he voice became like the adults on Charlie Brown.
He was talking about Jesus. Jesus said and Jesus wept. Jesus heard and Jesus walked over. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. I didn’t want to hear about Jesus. There’s two sides to every story.
Not one, but two. A story is not one-sided.
A story has duality. There was two sides to every story and I couldn’t worship a god that would send me and people I cared about to Hell for just being ourselves. That wasn’t the life I wanted to lead anymore.
“Kasaundra, are you listening to me?” My father’s voice pierced my ears.
“Yes, Daddy. I hear you,”
“I just want your soul to be saved and it won’t be if you keep congregating with those demons. Do you understand?”
I kissed my father on the cheek. “Yes, I understand.” I told him exactly what he wanted to hear, leaving the room and heading to bed.
It was eleven o’ clock when I opened my eyes. The room seemed strange to me, making me think I was not in my own bed for a minute. But reality stepped in when I saw my dresser draw that contained all my pleasurable toys in it. The room was junky because the painters were coming to paint and looking at the time on my phone, they should have been at the house already.
I sprang up out the bed when I heard my dad talking down the hall to strange voices. I knew that since they were upstairs that they would be coming in my room to paint it. I dashed in the bathroom, forgetting to take my clothing. Then I heard the door to my bedroom opened from the outside...it was Daddy.
“Kasaundra are you up as yet? Get up lazy bones, the painter is here!” He said still standing out the door.
All I thought about at that moment is how fucking sexy the painter was because the painter we hired to paint my room was my girlfriend, Brandy.
“Yes dad, I’m in the bathroom washing up. I’ll be out in a few minutes!” I said as I heard him shut my door.
I opened my bathroom door and walked into my bedroom naked thinking that it was free, but boy was I surprised! There Brandy was standing in khaki cover-alls with her hair in a ponytail. She was absolutely stunning!
“Damn girl, didn’t you hear me yell that I was coming out of the bathroom?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips.
Brandy turned and just stared at me. “Nope, I missed that part, but it looks like I got up here just in time.” she said licking her lips as her eyes fastened to my aroused pussy. “You just love never having clothes on. Tasha’s party was wild last night.”
Brandy was my girlfriend in more ways than what my father thought. We were lovers too. Our parents had no idea.
I was so turned on by her and she knew it. I was standing there naked as she took her time, inspecting my body. Brady stopped in front of me, touching my breasts. She cupped them in her hands and then boldly leaned in and licked my nipples. They were already at attention, standing their usual half-inches when erect.
Brandy began to suck on my nipples as I moaned lightly. She had me in a trance as her hands began to explore my body; touching my ass, pinching my nipples and even running over the top of my pussy lips, giving her the control to do whatever she pleased. She reached behind her and locked both locks on my door before she pushed me down on the bed. She wanted me and I wanted her too. We got like this sometimes when the sex was spontaneous. My house or her house, we just got it in.
Brandy removed her cover-all and working boots and stood before me in booty shorts and matching bra. She was so sexy and her body was well toned. Her skin was golden brown and flawless and she was a brunette. She stood about five foot eight and her breasts were thirty-eight Ds. She was fucking gorgeous.
There I was laying on my bed watching her strip for me. She looked at me as she knelt between my legs. Her hands were so soft and she smelled so sweet. She began to lick from my ass crack all the way up my pussy slit, but not touching my clit. Her tongue on my skin was like fire. All I did was lay there and let her have her way with me.
“I love the way your pussy tastes Kasaundra!” she moaned as she licked up and down my slit and my ass. I felt when she parted my lips and began to lick the inside of my pussy. My juices were building more and more as she licked me.
“Ohh yesss...lick my pussy, Brandy!” I squirmed as she stuck her middle finger inside, flicking my clit with her tongue.
My body began to buck off the bed and shake as she fucked me. Brandy inserted two more fingers deep as she twirled her tongue on my swollen clit. She was sucking me as if my juices gave her everlasting life.
Reality began to set in that my father was right downstairs and if he was to know what was transpiring in this room, he was certain to “call for the elders of the church for a confessional!” That made the encounter even more hot knowing that we could have be caught. Suddenly, Brandy took a small vibrator, using it on my clit as she continued to finger me. My body shook as I began to cum right there.
“That’s it baby, cum for me! Gimme this pussy juice!” she teased as I climaxed.
“Ohhhh fuckkk yess yesss!” I screamed into my pillow as my orgasm had me shaking and trembling as Brandy sucked my flowing pussy with no mercy, lapping up my juices.
I started to come down from my orgasm and sit up on my elbows, but she pushed me lightly back down on the bed and said in a seductress manner that almost made me cum a second time, “I’m not finished yet, that was just an appetizer. This pussy’s sweet!”
When Brandy had finished her statement, she shoved her tongue inside my pussy and her thumb ran circles on my clit again, driving me to an almost immediate orgasm.
I wanted to taste her, but I liked how she took control in that soft sexy manner. I locked her head in between my legs. I reached down and began to play with her hair as she ate me with vigor.
She took me over the edge again and I began to squirt in her face. “Yeah Kasaundra. Yesss, fucking squirt for me.”
“I want to taste you Brandy!” I said as she released her mouth from my pussy. She looked up and smiled as she climbed up to me and kissed me full on my lips. The kiss didn’t last very long as she then attacked my breast.
She squeezed them and sucked like a baby on the breast. Brandy sucked nipple after nipple as she closed her eyes, and I slipped my fingers in her shorts, letting then find her opening.
“Damn baby you are so wet. Let me lick you Brandy!” I said as I pushed two fingers inside her pussy as deep as I could have.
She bit me on my nipple when I did that, but used her tongue to massage it and eased the pain. She then opened her eyes and stared me in the eye before I could say another word, Brandy said something I wasn’t expecting.
“Kasaundra, I want you to fuck me with this!” she said as she held up my favorite toy, my thirteen by five white special made strap on dildo.
“Mmm Brandy, are you sure you want and can take it all baby?” I asked, knowing that what I was fingering below was extremely tight.
“We’ve never done anything more seven inches before but I want to get fucked with THIS!” she responded as she began to get up off me. The look in her eyes were urgent and full of lust, so I removed my hand as she stood.
I removed her shorts for her and palmed her pussy as she unhooked her bra. She opened her legs wider as I fingered her pussy, running my fingers in and out her lips and playing with her clit. She soaking and smelt sweet.
I put on the strap on and decided to let her straddle me. I positioned myself to the top of the bed with my back to the head board. She sat on my lap and began to rub her pussy all up and down the dildo lubbing it with her juices. Suddenly, she impaled her pussy on the cock, taking it all in.
“Ooooww Fuckk!! Yessss!!” she screamed in my ear with tears running down her face. I held her there for a moment as I kissed her on her neck and lips. She started to kiss me back softly then with force as I began to lift her up and down on the dildo as she was being stuffed completely.
We stopped kissing and started to concentrate on fucking. Brandy threw her head back and began to take charge again. I loved when she took over, putting her all into it. She began to bounce up and down as she rode the dick. I started to lick and flick her nipples as she rode me.
“Oh yeah Brandy, that’s it! Fuck this dick baby!” I cheered her on as she continued to ride.
Brandy was lost and I didn’t want her to be found as her orgasm took over her. She started to cum like a faucet and I felt her juices leaking all over my thighs.
I grabbed her by her waist. Brandy was going wild as she started to grind on my lap. She threw herself back on the the bed as she was still fucking me. I bent my legs so I can get up and I lifted her legs in the air. I began to fuck her like she wanted.
“You like this cock in your tight pussy don’t you Brandy?” I quizzed as I drove deep inside her.
She laid there speechless as I pounded her pussy with all my strength. I lifted her legs back to her chest and really began to fuck her tight pussy deeper and harder.
“Yess faster yess fuck me Kasaundra. Fuck this bitch!” Brandy begged. “Oh god oh god, don’t stop Kasaundra yesss!” Her head was spinning from side to side as she began to cum hard.
“Yes bitch, cum on this fucking cock. Fuck yeah!” I said as her body tensed up, cumming again.
We were lost someplace in ecstasy, that we did not realize that the room door had been unlocked and we were being watched. There Daddy stood in the doorway with his mouth dropped open, as I knelt over Brandy with my strap-on buried deep inside her pussy.
Three Years Later...
Chapter Two - Amir
They say the ocean has no memories and a time of no memories was exactly what I needed. I needed a year of no memories. After everything I’d been through, I chose to travel the world for a year. Japan, China, Mexico, Peru, London, and finally, where I stood at the present moment — in Ghana. I was home in the Motherland. Coming to Africa, I landed in Chad then traveled through Libya, Sudan, and Egypt prior to settling in Ghana.
After a week of being the American tourist I was, buying souvenirs, clothes, African jewelry, and a few paintings for my return home, I came to the beach. Warm black sand surrounded my feet, looking out at the sparkling blue waters. The waves flowed calmly and I was inspired. Coming out to the beach, I’d stabbed my painting easel into the earth and was ready to create. Watching the waves flow out at sea, I dipped my paintbrush into the sky blue blotch on my painting palette.
The waves crashing at the shore encouraged me to paint vehemently. I was letting go of a lot of pain, anger, and feelings of resentment. Letting go of toxic emotions was the purpose of my year around the world. Some people saw me traveling as running from my troubles, but it wasn’t. I was truly healing. I was good with therapy or talking about my feelings, so I used my art as an outlet. Painting and poetry was life after going through Hell.
I’d lost the love of my life. I’d lost my best friend. I’d lost my home back in Philadelphia. How? Well, my best friend, Jay (the fuck boy he is) felt it was cool to sleep with my girlfriend, Natalie. My girlfriend, Natalie was down for whatever and decided to take the dick for months on end although she said that she loved me. The crazy thing about cheating is; it’s not the act itself that hurts, but the betrayal of the person’s actions. I painted more thinking of my house—the house that burned in fire while I was at work a month later. The Universe was putting me through a very harsh trial and I knew I’d make it over to the other side. This was all a lesson and a tool to help me grow. The day got away from me as I painted, the morning fading into the afternoon. Just as I finished painting, Ghanaian hip-hop filled my ears as more and more people began to fill the beach’s space. Among them was a woman named Olani and her girlfriends that I’d met upon my arrival to Ghana. They were on a vacation. I was on a vacation. We’d linked up for dinner quite a few times, and I was enjoying being around beautiful women again. Out of all of them, Olani was the best one in the bunch.
Olani was a beautiful woman, but I never had sexual thoughts about her until now at least. Olani was a free-spirited person that spoke her mind. Ghanaian hip-hop played as I turned around to see Olani twerking her big ass. My eyes got big as I watched her clapping that ass to the beat of the music. My dick started getting hard as I continued to watch. I licked my lips because I was so in tuned to her moves. I wondered how it would feel to have Olani bounce her big ass on my dick. The song had ended, and my dick was standing up. I couldn’t hide my dick imprint if I tried as I was wearing swimming trucks. Olani gasped when she noticed that I had been watching her dance. She was embarrassed. I was a lonely man, and the more we’d been hanging out, the more I valued our companionship. We flirted back and forth, but nothing was too serious.
“Did you enjoy my performance?” she asked cutely as we met face to face.
“It was great.” I sighed, trying not to leer at her.
I had not had any pussy in over a year. I hoped that I would get lucky tonight. Olani was five foot six with melon sized breasts, thick thighs and with a big donkey butt. I felt like Olani could be the woman that I needed for release.
“So...are you ever gonna stop drooling over me and just ask to come up to my room?” she asked brazenly.
“Well, you’re beautiful no doubt. I just didn’t want to be disrespectful.”
“Trust me, you haven’t been disrespectful because I would let you know. So how about we head upstairs and see what’s up?”
Right after I gave an approving nod, I was up in Olani’s room, nuzzling my face deeper into her neck, I let my fingers stroke her lower lips. Her moans filled the air coupled with the sounds of my manipulations.
“Amir,” She whispered as I felt her peak.
I went faster, sending her over the edge. Her body went limp against me as I kept sliding deeper.
“Already?” I questioned in amusement. I pulled my fingers out and slid them into her mouth. She eagerly sucked them, enjoying the taste of her juices. “Taste good, don’t it?”
“Yes daddy.” She confirmed.
“I’m about to fuck your little ass up.” I informed as he carried her over to the bed.
Tossing her on the bed, I immediately slid her panties off and delved my head down to paradise. Olani’s back arched off of the mattress as my tongue swirled around her heat.
“Why. You. Taste. So. Fucking. Good?” I punctuated each word with a quick suck on her clit.
“I—I...FUCK!” Her body twitched and twisted as she struggled to complete her sentence.
“Come suck this dick.”
I guided her head to my onyx rod saluting her. With my hand still gripping her hair, I watched as she rolled out the pink carpet. Her tongue lapped at the thick vein as she allowed the head of my dick to venture into her throat. Bobbing her head as if her favorite song was playing, she took me in deeper. Watching her suck, I reached down and gave her small nipples attention. Feeling them harden, he knew it was only a matter of time before her dam broke.
“Tell me how much you want this dick.” I demanded as I rubbed myself against her slit.
She was so warm and wet that it took most of my resolve to tease her.
“I don’t want it,” she moaned at my prodding. “I need it.”
“You need it?” I questioned, amused by her persistent thrusts back to me. Her body seemed to be on autopilot, programmed to fulfill her primal needs.
“Yeees daddy.” She moaned. “Give it to me, I’ma take it.” She whined out.
I chuckled, pushing her flat on the bed. With my hand pressing down on her lower back, I gave her long strokes. I smiled as I watched my love stick disappear.
“Turn over, I want to see that pretty ass face.” I pulled out as she struggled to flip her body.
I could tell that she wasn’t prepared for tonight’s energy. I made a show of pushing her legs to her chest as I dropped dick straight to her soul. Olani moaned out in several octaves before tapping my thigh, trying to slow me down.
“Naw, this your dick for the night so take it.”
“Amir!” She screamed when he went deeper, her calves flexing against my shoulders as her body tensed.
“Go ahead and get yours, mama. I want you to nut all on this dick.” I encouraged. “You look so fucking pretty taking all this dick.”
“Oh my God! Daddy!” She whined.
“What?” I inquired lightly, never slowing my stroke.
“It’s too much.” She whimpered breathlessly.
“Naw, it’s just enough.” I grinned before leaning down to peck her lips. “You want this nut?”
“Tell me what you want.” I demanded. “Say it.”
“I want you to fuck me ‘till you cum.” She breathed out. “Cum in me, Amir.”
“Fuck!” I groaned, filling her as I stroked as her walls milked me dry, squeezing me for dear life.
“Damn.” Olani mumbled at the sudden loss of warmth surrounding her.
I chuckled while lightly tapping her leg. Our lovemaking was refreshing and rewarding. I felt a load lift from my shoulders. I knew that I had made the right decision to let go of Natalie and to move on with my life. My year of traveling the world was over. It was time to go home.